Hands off Dick!

The liberal, Jewish, gay, vegan media has been picking on our Dick Cheney ever since the Vice President courageously revealed his hunting accident to the Corpus Christi Middle School Gazette. Even before that, pundits were accusing Dick and Lynn Cheney of producing a homosexual daughter! She and Heather are just good friends and roommates. As if a woman raised by a man as vibrant, charismatic, and sexy as Dick Cheney could ever turn into a lesbian. (seriously, Dick Cheny is a sexy beast. I challenge and lesbian or straight man reading this to just think about Cheney for one minute and not at least consider switching teams, or as I like to call it, "pulling a Lieberman".)

But now a new group of crazies is picking on Dick.

Uppity left-wing Washington wing-bats are joining the witch hunt, issuing subpoenas for the Vice President's records relating to eavesdropping. How petty and spiteful can you get! And who is the head witch and paper hunter? Big surprise--it is Patrick Leahy, a hateful man who especially hates Cheney. Only a man as vicious as the Vermont Senator could provoke the naturally convivial Cheney to tell him to go "fuck himself." And unlike the lawyer who apologized for shoving his face in the way of Cheney's gun, Leahy never expressed any regret for his inciting hostility in the otherwise amiable statesman.

So leave our Dick alone!