Bush learned alternative interrogation techniques from Mom

I can't be sure, but I'm pretty convinced that Barbara Bush was the inspiration behind the "alternative interrogation techniques" used on prisoners.
As Bush explains, these techniques "were tough, and they were safe and lawful and necessary." This is, I suspect, how Barbara described her own "alternative parenting techniques."



This isn't the only lesson Dubya had to learn from his mother (the hard way.) Barbara also showed Bush how lucky these detainees really are. When, after Katrina, Barbara visited the Astrodome in Houston, she observed, with great insight so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them."

Well these people are underprivileged too. And they're lucky to have the shelter, food, tropical weather, and neon orange clothing provided free of charge.
Sure, innocent people who have never been charged with a crime are being held indefinitely. Sure, some detainees have been drugged, beaten, sexually abused, hung from their hands for days at a time and subject to water boarding and electric shocks. But they're probably the guilty ones anyway. And if not, they shouldn't have been in Afghanistan, or anywhere in the Middle East for that matter, anyway. (Nationality and place of birth are no excuse, by the way.)

These detainees were geographically underprivileged. And just as the flooded, stinking astrodome was a major step up for the poor people of New Orleans, the tropical paradise that is Guantanamo Bay, is a major step up from the middle east. But don't listen to me. Listen to the universally trusted and respected Secretary of defense/ climatologist Donald Rumsfeld: "Guantanamo Bay's climate is different than Afghanistan. To be in a eight-by-eight cell in beautiful sunny Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, is not inhumane treatment."


And I'm sure the secret prisons in Romania and Poland, while not sunny, have their own eastern European Communist architecture charm.