Hands off Dick!

The liberal, Jewish, gay, vegan media has been picking on our Dick Cheney ever since the Vice President courageously revealed his hunting accident to the Corpus Christi Middle School Gazette. Even before that, pundits were accusing Dick and Lynn Cheney of producing a homosexual daughter! She and Heather are just good friends and roommates. As if a woman raised by a man as vibrant, charismatic, and sexy as Dick Cheney could ever turn into a lesbian. (seriously, Dick Cheny is a sexy beast. I challenge and lesbian or straight man reading this to just think about Cheney for one minute and not at least consider switching teams, or as I like to call it, "pulling a Lieberman".)

But now a new group of crazies is picking on Dick.

Uppity left-wing Washington wing-bats are joining the witch hunt, issuing subpoenas for the Vice President's records relating to eavesdropping. How petty and spiteful can you get! And who is the head witch and paper hunter? Big surprise--it is Patrick Leahy, a hateful man who especially hates Cheney. Only a man as vicious as the Vermont Senator could provoke the naturally convivial Cheney to tell him to go "fuck himself." And unlike the lawyer who apologized for shoving his face in the way of Cheney's gun, Leahy never expressed any regret for his inciting hostility in the otherwise amiable statesman.

So leave our Dick alone!

The Dog ate my e-mail

Comrade, I mean Congressman Henry Waxman and the House Oversight Committee he chairs, is claiming hundreds of thousands of White House e-mails have been destroyed.

Well, perpetual party pooper Waxman is looking at the glass half empty, not half full. Instead of congratulating the White House for preserving the e-mails of 37 of the 88 White House officials, he is harping on the mere 51 officials' missing e-mails. Instead of applauding the White House for holding onto 130 of Karl Rove's e-mails, he is obsessing over the fact that the rest of his 140,000 e-mails, inluding all e-mails from the lead up to the Iraq War, are gone.

Waxman isn't the only paranoid conspiracy theorist democrat behind this e-mail witch hunt. You may remember Patrick Leahy saying that "You can't erase e-mails. They can't say that they're lost. That's like saying the dog ate my homework." Well, you can lose e-mails, and a dog can eat your homework. In fact, while "studying" at Yale, Bush told professors the dog ate his homework every single day.

Drop Gays, Not Bombs: A New Place for Homosexuals in the Military

as seen on Huffington Post

I have long been opposed to gays in http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifthe military and last week's NY Times op-ed piece did nothing to change my mind. So the Army dismisses Arabic translators because they're gay, leaving it with two Arabic speakers (both straight!).Obviously, having gay Arabic translators is a lot more perilous than having no Arabic translators. Imagine how these anti-American, anti-family individuals could twist language to promote the homosexual agenda. "The captain wants to speak with you" could easily become "The captain wants to kiss you." They could turn "We like Iraq" into "We like Iraqi men." Their perverted translations are only one of the many dangers these gays pose. I can see them now, going AWOL to design burqas in Baghdad, get pedicures in Fallujah, and shop antiques in Basra.

But this week, something made me change my position on gays in the military. The Air Force just confirmed that they had planned to develop a GAY BOMB, a "distasteful but completely non-lethal strong aphrodisiacs" promoting "homosexual behavior." This chemical weapon was to be used on enemy troops to make them more interested in fornicating than fighting.

The budget of 7.5 million was modest enough. But we can homosexualize the enemy at even less cost! We all know that the Homosexual Agenda is unstoppable. These gays recruit and seduce unsuspecting straights 24/7. So...let's go ahead and admit gays into the military, then drop them, not bombs, behind enemy lines. They will "go off" and "explode" faster, stronger, bigger and better than any bomb money could buy.