Gay Marriage is so... gay

Last week’s tragic congressional defeat of the bill to defend the family, i.e. amend the constitution to ban gay marriage, makes me think of one of my favorite people ever. Mary Cheney. Mary just "came out" with her memoirs, Now It's My Turn: A Daughter's Chronicle of Political Life.
Ever the martyr, Mary is doing her part to support an administration that is doing its part to warp The Constitution in the noble name of homophobia. And what is she getting in return? Nothing! Besides a mere advance of one million dollars from Simon and Schuster.
The book reveals a Mary who is so principled, that the president’s position on gay marriage gives her “a knot in the pit of my stomach.” It must be that debilitating pain from her stomach that prevents Cheney using her role as an out republican to champion the cause of gay rights. The paralyzing knot must be what made her choose to “keep a low profile” i.e. not appear on stage with her dad, and at the same time, run her father’s 2004 campaign.

Mary's so proud of being “gay,” she recalls cussing when Jon Kerry referred to her as a lesbian: "he had used the word 'lesbian,' instead of the more common and politically neutral term 'gay.' " (exactly how self loathing does a lesbian have to be to object to being described as, well, a lesbian?) Shame on you Kerry! How would you like it if someone described you as straight?


Now I have no problems with the gays (see, unlike Kerry, I would never degrade them by using the L Word). Some of my best friends are gay. But I do have trouble believing that Mary Cheney is gay. I don't know what turns people gay, nature or nurture, but whatever it is, if anything could over turn it, it's Dick Cheney's virulence, vitality, and good old fashioned sex appeal. How could a woman turn out gay after being raised by the sexiest, the most charismatic, the most dynamic man ever? I defy any gay woman or straight man to even think about Dick for a few minutes and not at least consider switching teams, or as I like to call it, “pulling a Lieberman.”






But enough from me. Listen to what these gay comics have to say about gay marriage in this Laughing Liberally video

Come see these comics and more Mondays (til August 27th) @ 8PM at the 45th street theater @ 354 West 45th st go to www.laughingliberally.com for tix!